Why I Hate Shopping

I love skiing really fast with the wind in my face. I love making people feel better about themselves and their world. I love laughing really hard with people that I love. I do not love shopping.

In fact, the thought of shopping makes me feel anxious and stressed out. Now don’t get me wrong…I’m capable of shopping and taking care of all the kids’ needs. They need cleats and sneakers frequently, and we go to Models. They grow out of their clothing every time I turn around. Off to Target, Models, Old Navy. Mark needs a sport coat for college. All of that will get done.And grocery shopping? I could do that in my sleep. Do you know how many groceries 3 teenage boys consume in a week? In a day? After I go to bed at night? I wake in the morning to a kitchen that looks like it has been raided by hungry pirates.

Maybe it’s the “wants” that really irk me for shopping trips…not the needs…because then they are shopping trips that don’t actually even have to happen. And perhaps that was my downfall today. I wanted a new dress to wear for tonight. A friend is coming over and then later tonight, I’m going to see another friend’s band play. I just wanted something new to pick my spirits up. Next time, I’ll make herbal tea instead and wait for the feeling to pass!!

The shopping trip started off simply enough. I was going to hit Trader Joe’s first to get wine and apps for my company. Only, Trader Joe’s carries wine in Charlotte, NC but apparently not in Scarsdale, NY. Just beer. I don’t like beer. I don’t hate it as much as I hate shopping, but I don’t like it enough to spend any money on it. Too many beer games in college destroyed any desire to ever really have another sip of beer. But, I digress. So, I picked up some fun apps in Trader Joe’s.

Off to Old Navy to see if they had any fun sundresses. Only, someone moved my Old Navy. Where did it go? I know it was there when I went Christmas shopping. Have I not gone shopping since December? Apparently not. At least…not anywhere except Models where I should have a frequent shopping card and if they didn’t already have free parking, I’m sure I would have earned that right. Ok…so Old Navy was not there at all. Gone. Bananas! Having little time, patience or money (possibly the other trifecta of reasons that increases my antipathy for the sport of shopping), I was off to Target. Ugh. I walked in and they have changed the location of EVERYTHING!! I don’t like change. Hmm. I’m pretty negative today. No shopping and no change. I’ll have to bring that all up in therapy some day. Not today though. Too rainy.

Ok..so into Target I go. First…there is the parking lot. Why do people need to wait for the person pulling out of the spot and block traffic forever when you can see 20 open spots 20 yards away? Is it so hard to drive the extra 20 yards? Or could you pull over so I could park far away from you? No. You must wait in the middle of everything and block everyone. The people honking at me cannot see that it is YOU blocking the way. I persevere and park and enter the store, which as I said has completely changed its layout. Fabulous. I find a cute dress. Fabulous. Off to pay. We’ve already discussed in other posts about cashiers. I got a very special one today. He actually just shoved my very brand new dress into the bag the way a child would pack dirty laundry into a suitcase for the trip home from vacation…not the way a cashier should neatly fold my new dress and place it into the bag. Oy.

Back into my car. The car that now has the empty light on. Off to the gas station. What? The gas station’s credit card machine is down? Only cash today? Well, luckily I have ONE $20 bill in my wallet. Do you know how much gas an SUV gets for $20? About a sip. Yes, a sip. Not that I drink gasoline frequently…only when I have just finished shopping and I am ready to pull my own eyelashes out. Whatever! I’m home. I survived. Next time, I’m either doing catalog shopping or waiting for a day when I have ample time, patience and cash. Ahhh. Now, to my tea and then to workout and get ready for company. Thanks for listening. I feel much better now I’ll save the shopping expeditions for braver souls like you.